Cate Rosa has attended her fair share of Boston’s Pride Festivals, but this year’s celebration was made all the more special because she got to experience it with her close friend, Philip Rouillard.
The pair enjoyed being in each other’s company on a day that celebrates love and acceptance. Brought together through FriendshipWorks, Cate and Philip have built a friendship where they feel free to share their individual passions, discover common interests, and try new things together.
Cate first found FriendshipWorks through VolunteerMatch. She had recently read “Look Me in the Eye: Old Women, Aging and Ageism,” a book by Barbara Macdonald that critiques how older women are often marginalized. Cate felt inspired by the book’s commentary on ageism, and decided to join FriendshipWorks as a Friendly Visiting volunteer.
Philip found out about FriendshipWorks’ programs from the resident services coordinator in the building where he lives and decided to reach out. He and Cate met back in December, and after just a few visits, they became more than a Friendly Visiting match — they soon grew to become “buddies,” as Cate describes them.
The two spend their visits going on walks when the weather is nice. Philip often stops to look at flowers, and even takes photos of those he finds particularly beautiful. “It helps me to also appreciate the little things,” Cate says.
If the weather isn't cooperating for outdoor excursions, sometimes they watch television at Philip’s home. Philip has introduced Cate to Dark Shadows, a popular soap opera from the 1960s. Cate’s love for vampires and anything gothic, combined with her childhood memories of watching horror movies with her mother, made her an instant fan of the show. She even visited the show’s iconic house in Rhode Island, making sure to snap some photos to show Philip.
Portrait of Barnabas Collins from the soap opera Dark Shadows.
“I’m 72, and I was 18 the last year it aired in 1971.” Phillip recalls. “To my mother’s dismay, I loved watching it when I was in high school. And when I came across a second hand DVD set of the series, I had to buy it.” Cate says, “His memory of the show amazes me, and he’s so good with dates and all of the actor’s names,” Cate says. Philip even has a portrait of one of the show’s main characters, Barnabas, in his home. The two often binge the series while bonding over their love of sweets and coffee.
Cate, who describes herself as “old school,” finds it easy to connect with Philip. Besides Dark Shadows they share interests in older music, film and photography. Cate plans on showing Philip Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, one of her favorite movie adaptations.
What Cate and Philip appreciate the most about their friendship is the fact that they’re able to be their true selves with each other. Just like a typical college-aged friendship, the pair curse, talk about partying, and even discuss more “taboo” subjects together. “I talk to him just like I talk to all of my other friends,” Cate says. “When you treat older adults just like anybody else it allows everyone to have more honest and fulfilling conversations.”
Cate, a member of the LGTBQ+ community, has no problem being herself, and says that Philip was accepting of her from the start. Philip shares memories of how the world was less accepting growing up, reminding Cate of how far things have come. He says, “It’s nice that people can be comfortable with who they are.” Cate responds, “Talking to Philip has really made me appreciate being able to be out and proud today. There is still a lot more work to be done for queer and trans rights.”
Cate is happy to have a friend as supportive as Philip and the two are already looking forward to attending the Pride Festival again next year.
“I have learned how my actions can have an effect on someone's life,” Cate says. “And I don't even think of us as being a ‘Friendly Visiting match’, we are just friends.”
